I came out, and they had it all figured out.

It was like waking up in the middle of a story I didn’t start,
a story that had already been written without me.
Everything was already in place.
The rhythm of their voices,
the way they moved through the days,
the way they carried the weight of this life
without missing a beat.
I wasn’t needed.
I wasn’t part of the plan.

And here I am,
lost in the spaces they’ve filled,
trying to fit myself between the cracks they’ve already smoothed over.
I try to step into the shape they’ve made,
but it doesn’t feel like mine.
It’s like wearing someone else’s skin,
moving through a world that feels too tight,
too foreign.

I thought I’d taken us all out,
in the beginning.
I thought the quiet, the stillness,
meant the end of all of us.
But they held on.
They found a way to keep breathing,
to keep the world turning without me.

They did it all without me.
They held the pieces together,
made the decisions,
breathed through the silence.
And now I’m here,
filling the spaces that were never meant for me,
trying to hold the weight of a life
I wasn’t part of.

I don’t know how to fit.
I don’t know if I can.
I don’t know what it means to belong here,
in a body that already moved,
in a life already lived.

But I’m trying.
I’m reaching for the pieces that still have room for me,
trying to find my place,
even if it means starting with nothing.
Even if it means learning how to breathe again,
even if I don’t know where the edges are.

I’m still here.
Still reaching. Still searching.

Maybe one day,
I’ll find my place
among the pieces they’ve built.
Maybe one day,
I’ll feel like I’m home.

Written by Amber of (Bee) Realtras System